Still Found Treasure

I woke up this morning pretty "hung-over", for lack of a better word, from my terribly long night of eating not so great of food, and being fearsome, of feeling overwhelmed and incapable, and thinking about the last couple of days, and numbing myself to/avoiding the thoughts of the last two days.  I was up until 4:00 AM and didn't even have the desire to change clothes before I got in bed. 

When I went to bed I was NOT looking forward waking up.  I hit the snooze over and over, but in between bouts of being awake I heard Titus and Aaris laughing and talking down the hall.  When I finally got up, they were so joyful.  I unexpectedly walked into a very clean and thoughtfully picked up house.  The worst areas (Titus and Aaris' room, and the kitchen) were almost spotless.  I could see in every room where the kids had been in there and had loving left their mark of service.  Even when I told them I would cut up some watermelon as a treat, they didn't exactly want to stop.  Therefore, they went and made up my bed while I cut watermelon - precious kids!

I was able to make myself take my first bath in 3-4 days.  And that felt good.  But, what I couldn't shake was my body being uncomfortable and feeling weird.  Was this a result of my body not responding well to the food of my night binge or was this due to something else.  I had purposely eaten watermelon because I knew that it passed through me quickly and I thought it could help me flush out my body of all of the junk I ate in the middle of the night.  But, then there is the fact that a lot of my potassium drops last year were a result of my body taking in too much sugar - simple sugars as well as sugar from a lot of fruit at one time.  Was my body not liking all of the watermelon I put in it.  Was I experiencing a potassium drop?  I ended up taking a half of a potassium pill to just put my mind at ease.

It's a good thing that Skylyn had gone over to Aaron's parents last night and that I needed to get out to pick her up.  It really forced me to be productive with my morning.  We were able to get some errands run, but the whole time I couldn't relax because I felt so bad.  Not to mention I got hit hard by my "monthly visitor" and was having to get to the bathroom frequently to stay on top of the situation. 

I had planned on just eating watermelon all day to really clean myself out, but when I got home and felt so weak and strange, I grabbed the bag of rice cakes for lunch.  I ate one whole sleeve of rice cakes, then ate a bowl of some leftover brussel sprouts, and then ate another sleeve of rice cakes.  At this point, for some reason I remembered the phrase I had just written yesterday, "get busy living or get busy dying."  So, I pulled myself out of my chair, turned off the tv and went up to the front of the house to start working on the laundry I had been postponing.  The kids then told me they were hungry and I discovered that Skylyn hadn't taken her nap (since she took a cat nap in the car), so it looked like snack time had arrived.  This is when I decided that we needed to get productive. 

After nap we went to the recycle center, Walgreen's, H-E-B, and the bank.  I then wanted to do something fun with them when I got home, so I said I would clip all of their nails and paint the girl's.  They were very excited and we had a good time.  Aaron then had a fantastic time playing with all of them while I cooked dinner.  I didn't eat it (sugar free spaghetti) because I wanted to eat a salad, because once again, that passes through me quickly and I was still wanting to feel cleaned out after last night. 

Tonight has just been working on the laundry and cleaning up the kitchen.  I wish I hadn't wasted all night not getting the laundry done.

But, here are the things I TREASURE about the day and how I prefer to remember it:
-  Hearing the kids laughing and enjoying each other first thing this morning.  They had just switched who slept on the top bunk (now Titus) and who slept on the bottom bunk (now Aaris) last night and they were still enjoying the happiness of experiencing something new. 
-  While at the grocery store Titus needed to go to the restroom.  While we were waiting for him to come out I just decided to wrap my arms around Aaris and just hold her in a long hug until he came out.  I rarely remember to do things like that, and it really felt great!
-  I truly looked forward to seeing Aaron and saw him in the loving way I remembered from the beginning of our relationship.