So, I decided that I had to go for the trip no matter what odds were against me, what obstacles were in my way, or what depressed state I was in. It wouldn't be fair to the kids who wanted so badly to see their cousins. It wouldn't be fair to those who had planned for us to stay with them. It wouldn't be fair to Aaron's family or Aaron who wanted to be surrounded by their immediate family at the Dennington reunion. Most of all it wouldn't be fair to the real Jessica buried deep inside of the depressed and scared body.
It was hard to get everything ready and out the door since I had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep. Since I didn't get the car packed up in time we ended up having to head downtown first for my chiropractic appointment and then back up to Pfugerville (north Austin) to get the extra car seat and videos out of the van at the repair shop.
We pulled out of the shop at 10:16 am. We did great and made it to Brownwood by 12:30 pm. I stopped at McDonalds and let the kids just play at the awesome rock climbing playground for 30 minutes. We then ate in the car.
Again, for being squished together in the back seat, the kids did great. No one took a nap as I had hoped, but God really kept their spirits quite calm and peaceful. They were in awe of the splendor of the monstrous wind turbines that seem as thick as a forest all around the Sweetwater area. Then, the dirt-devils were a complete phenomenon to them. All of that kept them busy and entertained. Only the last 15-20 minutes were rough because by this time it was 5:00 pm and Skylyn was sick and tired of being strapped in a seat.
I have to admit that out of the whole trip, I was most nervous about staying with my Aunt and Uncle in Lubbock. They have always just been the most poised and proper of anyone I know. They are the perfect hosts and their house has always been a luxury to stay in. But, that is terrifying to someone who feels the complete opposite of that. I feel sloppy and like I completely don't have it together. I was terrified that my kids would just run amok and distress them. I can't discipline myself right now, so I haven't been the best at disciplining their manners and behavior.
Once again, God helped out and keep them within a bearable state of manners since they were just set free from a very long day on the road and jammed into the back of the car. I had great conversation with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin (sadly missed out on his wife and kids since one of them was sick).
After the kids got to bed really had some deep and heartfelt talks with my Aunt Becky. This has never happened before. It was just a delight. I guess if I think about it I never had one-on-one time with her before.
Eating this day was good since there wasn't to much ability to binge in the car and none in front of my relatives.
Thank you God for making the best of all of my uncomfortable situations this day!
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